Lent: 40 Days and 40 nights

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Good morning. Today is the first day of lent and I sat across my bed with Carly trying to figure out what to give up. I am not Catholic but I do like to be supportive of all religions and learn about their religion. It's kind of of like the saying "When in Rome do like the Romans". As I sat I got to thinking of tangible goals for my next 40 days. I thought of giving up soda and all the motherfuckers (My words exactly) in my life. I had to think about motherfuckers a while because it's hard to give them up especially if you work with them and have to conduct yourself in a professional matter. So this morning I decided to focus more on giving up all carbonated drinks and fried food. I will replace carbonated drinks with water, and the fried foods with grilled or baked food. More salads and a better way of life for 40 days. I wanted to give up fast food in general but Carly stated that restaurants were fast food as well (I still do not agree).

The reason why I want to give up motherfuckers is because at this point I am not liked by a particular person. This same time last year, we were courting and one year late we hardly talk. Majority of the reasons he is not talking to me is because of my ways. I can admit that I am an asshole at times and when angry I see red but I am overall a sweet person. I stopped talking to him clearly because I think he is bitch-made. We would have discussions about how we could rectify the situation and only I would hold my end of the bargain. I told him how I felt and he never changed it. I shed one tear and refused to shed anymore. In recent news I tried my hand at being a friend. Try to be supportive, ask how he was doing and all that good stuff. Yesterday, I called him a liar about something he didn't lie about. From someone else I heard he felt attacked and that I was being the old me. The old me to him was the mean person that wasn't able to open up and always cracked jokes. When I called him a liar it wasn't my intention to offend but if he felt a way I felt it should have been addressed. Because it was not addressed and his reluctance to respond to speak to me when I direct conversation his way, I decided to stop trying. I guess I am his poison. It's more like me trying to be out of sight out of mind. He will be part of my lent. I think it is for the best because someone else's trash is another's treasure. I have to grow to understand that I will not be on everyone's level and we may not always meet eye to eye. These are just the seasonal people that were at the climax of the rollercoaster but lack luster at the end. I have a lot of growing to do as far as relationships.