Mental Combustion



[source]

 Good Evening. I feel like I have been living under a rock lately. I have been extremely negative and trying to grasp what is my purpose. I have been working at my job for about 2 years. This job in itself was a blessing because I was let go a day before my birthday and was unemployed for 2 months. In this day and age, who can say they've been only unemployed for two months? It's been a lot longer for people that have higher credentials than me. I have found myself in sort of a mental bind or in self crisis mode because I want to just quit everything and move forward. In a past post I stated that I was leaving my current job and it is bittersweet thinking about abandoning my responsibilities so I could chase a dream. In a professional development session at work today, I started to connect the dots of what was making me unhappy. I am not challenged nor do I feel that I am an asset to the organization. I feel that my potential is bottled up like fireworks ready to explode. I think I am going through mental combustion. My brain is painting pictures of what if and doubt. The meeting talked about taking charge and knowing what you want. I know what I want but at this time I am wondering if it is even conducive to my work. I cannot up and leave without a game plan. As it stands I already have five months that I will be broke but the way I see that is five months of no money is the springboard for a CAREER not just a job. I guess at this point I have to suck it up and deal. I do not want to settle so I will try to make the best of my situation.